Needing direction

I was driving down the street the other day and came across this post and mail box. For once, I had my camera with me, so I emulated my favorite photographer, John Linn (A Second Look), and grabbed a picture.

Whatever were they thinking? THREE house numbers on one post?

Okay, well maybe it fits for me, as well. I need direction. There have been so many twists and turns in my life lately that, sometimes, I don't know which way I am heading--or which way I am supposed to head.

How do you figure what to do, or where to go, after you've been doing it for a long time?

Rude Awakening

Saturday must have been quite a rude awakening for my little snow drop flower. Friday, it was starting to bloom, reveling in the fresh air, not having the burden of snow on its leaves. I can imagine how it felt. An early spring, a time to show off. A head start on the future. Saturday, the poor snow drop was covered in cold, white snow.

I can also imagine how it felt on Saturday. How easy it is to get ahead of myself, to dream, to imagine. Then, reality hits.

Life is supposed to be about twists and turns, but sometimes we don't like it when they affect us.

I don't much like it, right now.

The Arts

I took a career decision-making self-evaluation yesterday. I always thought I pretty much knew what I wanted to do and what I was good at, but the opportunity presented itself.

I was quite surprised when my most dominant career cluster was "the arts." That was followed by "scientific," which wasn't that much of a surprise.

Although the tag surprised me, the descriptions didn't. People with a strong interest in the arts usually:

• prize independence
• enjoy creative activities
• actively seek opportunities for self-expression

People with a strong scientific interest usually:

• are curious, creative, and studious
• like to work with theories and unproved ideas
• prefer to work alone

What is really interesting is that my first career, geology, and subsequent careers, technical writer/communications, and current interests, opera, all fit perfectly into this assessment system.

Unfortunately, almost all jobs within these categories have a a Poor employment outlook.

So I am doing what I want to do, just won't be able to keep doing it (here). Now there's a twist for me!

An open ear

I never considered hearing to be my best sense. I've always been very creative, but that creativity has played out with touchable things-quilts, knitted scarfs or sweaters, or my garden. But yesterday, I had an experience with music that made me rethink my assessment of myself--and consider what I might have missed over the years.  

A few days ago, a fellow skater put a high-energy CD on the player. This was music we all used to skate to about 10 years ago, but somehow it had fallen out of favor--or maybe we were too lazy to bring in CDs, so we skated to the radio. I was surprised at how much better a skate I had with this fast-paced music. I skated faster, felt more energized, and skated longer than I had previously this year. Ah, maybe the music played a role?

About four years ago, I went to a HD broadcast of an opera. I have never liked opera. Too little action, too much singing about minor things, too much singing. But this HD broadcast changed everything! I fell in love, and attend operas about 10 times a season. Ah, maybe the music played a role?

So what do these two incidents have in common? Something played to the hearing sense. For more than 40 years, I always felt that hearing was my 'worst' sense. I wonder what I missed? I better keep an open ear in the future.

Now it feels like the end

I received the severance check from my former employer today. Although I've been "relieved of my duties" since the end of November, today really felt like the end.

It's going to be hard to find the energy to find a job.

I need to find that next twist.

The Sweet Spot

I had an amazing experience on the ice last Monday. I took an hour lesson with my coach, Jill, rather than my normal 30 minutes. So we had a lot of time to work on things.

Towards the end of my lesson, we were working on spins. I have two problems with spins: I don't enter the spin on the ball of my skating foot, and I don't pull up with my skating leg. These two problems make me fall out of my spin after a rotation or two.

To help me find the sweet spot on my blade, Jill had me move my skates back and forth until I didn't feel the ice under the blade. At the same time, she told me to stand up very tall, pulling up through the leg.

So here I am, moving my skates back and forth, back and forth, and pulling up through my quads. I felt like I had perfect balance. I felt comfortable on the ice, not afraid of falling as I usually feel. It was an amazing feeling.

How I can apply this finding to the rest of my life? Is there something I need to alter--maybe  just slightly--so I can feel more comfortable?

A subtle shift

When I was skating yesterday morning, practicing left outside 3-turns, I realized that my heart wasn't in my throat the entire time. I *almost* felt comfortable doing the move. This realization came upon me pretty quickly and I marveled at my new understanding as I completed the move down the ice. Suddenly something that always made me feel uncomfortable and out of control felt--well, almost normal. My timing, fluidity across the ice, and being changed in that instant.

So almost 10 years of practice does have an impact on outcome!  

How many other situations do we neglect practice, knowing that it can make more perfect? I can see many instances in my life where a subtle shift--of perspective, of understanding, of tolerance, of mindset--can change everything, including me.

Note to self: Look for the shift.